How to Turn Your Inner Critic Into Your Unexpected New Best Friend
Let’s talk about the voice.
You know the one.
The voice that pops up when you’re about to do something brave and whispers:
“Who do you think you are?”
Or my personal favourite:
“Maybe wait until you’re more qualified / more ready / more organised / healthier / thinner / calmer / richer / more successful… basically a completely upgraded version of yourself.”
That voice is your inner critic.
And if you’ve ever felt like a fraud in your own life (hello imposter syndrome 👋), you are very much not alone.
In fact, I’m going to be completely honest here — I’ve been feeling it myself recently.
Despite years of experience teaching, holding space, running classes and supporting people on their wellbeing journeys… moving to a new area has brought that voice right back to the surface.
Starting again somewhere new can do that.
You suddenly find yourself wondering:
Will I find my people here?
Will anyone come to my classes?
What if everyone else already has their tribe and I’m the new kid trying to squeeze in?
Even when you know what you’re doing… the inner critic still likes to pop up and have a little chat.
Very uninvited, I might add.
The Inner Critic’s Job (Even Though It’s Rubbish at It)
Here’s the thing.
Your brain is wired to keep you safe.
Thousands of years ago that meant avoiding things like angry bears and poisonous berries.
Now it mostly means avoiding:
- starting something new
- putting yourself out there
- trying to build a community
- launching that idea you’ve been thinking about
- doing anything that might make you feel a bit vulnerable
Your brain goes:
“Danger! Possible embarrassment detected!”
And the inner critic jumps in with its favourite lines:
- You’re not ready.
- Someone else is better.
- You should wait until everything is perfect.
Which leads us to a universal truth…
The Timings Will Never Be Perfect
Let me save you a few years of waiting.
The perfect moment does not exist.
There will always be something:
- You’re too busy
- Too tired
- Too under-qualified
- Too overthinking
- Mercury is probably doing something inconvenient again
If we waited until we felt completely confident before doing anything new, most of us would still be sitting in our pyjamas googling “how to feel ready to start.”
Confidence doesn’t come before action.
Confidence comes after you’ve done the thing and realised the world did not in fact collapse.
What If the Inner Critic Isn’t the Enemy?
TWhat if instead of trying to silence that voice completely…
We simply changed our relationship with it?
Think of it less like an enemy and more like an overly cautious friend who thinks absolutely everything is dangerous.
You don’t have to listen to everything it says.
But you can acknowledge it… and carry on anyway.
A Few Ways to Quiet the Noise
1. Notice the Voice
Instead of believing every thought, simply notice it.
“Ah, there you are again.”
Creating that tiny bit of distance stops the critic from running the show.
2. Ask a Better Question
The critic asks:
“What if you fail?”
Try replying with:
“What if it actually goes well?”
Your brain is brilliant at imagining disasters.
Let it imagine possibilities too.
3. Reset Through the Body
When your nervous system is calm, the critic gets quieter.
Try:
• three slow breaths in through the nose
• a gentle stretch
• a short walk outside
Simple. But surprisingly powerful.
The Mantra I Come Back To Again and Again
Those who know me, or who come to my classes, will probably recognise what I’m about to say — because it’s something I repeat often.
It’s a mantra that sits quietly at the heart of so much of the work we do, both on the mat and off it.
Sometimes we spend so much time trying to improve ourselves that we forget to pause and recognise where we already are.
So I often come back to this simple reminder:
I am enough.
What I am is enough.
What I have is enough.
What I do is enough.
Not when you’ve achieved more.
Not when you’re more flexible.
Not when life is finally perfectly organised (which, let’s be honest, is a mythical state).
Right now.
Exactly as you are.
Of course we grow.
Of course we learn.
Of course we evolve.
But growth doesn’t come from constantly telling ourselves we’re not good enough.
It comes from starting from a place of compassion.
And strangely enough, when we soften that pressure to be more, better, perfect…
That’s often when the most meaningful change happens.
A Tiny Practice for This Week
If that inner critic has been particularly chatty lately, try this small practice once a day.
It takes less than a minute.
Place a hand on your heart.
Take three slow, steady breaths.
Allow your shoulders to soften and your jaw to unclench (we all hold more tension there than we realise).
Then quietly repeat to yourself:
I am enough.
What I am is enough.
What I have is enough.
What I do is enough.
Let the words land gently, without needing to force yourself to believe them completely.
Sometimes the practice is simply planting the seed.
A Thought to Leave You With
So the next time your inner critic starts getting a bit loud…
When it tells you you’re not ready, not experienced enough, not confident enough, or not quite the right version of yourself yet…
Pause.
Take a breath.
And call in your inner best friend instead.
The voice that reminds you:
You’re doing your best.
You’re learning as you go.
You don’t have to have everything figured out.
And most importantly…
You are already enough.
Exactly as you are.